There are times in life when you find what seems like the perfect person. They could be kind, not needy, smart, friendly, and even loved by your friends and family, but there is just no “it” factor. Your friends and family may push for you to stay with this person, but you just are not feeling it. If you are having these feeling, then here is how to approach the situation.

Don’t Be Hard On Yourself

If the feeling you want or think you should feel are not present, do not be hard on yourself. We cannot change the way we feel about someone. No one in your life should be allowed to criticize you for something that you cannot control. Take a break for yourself and accept your feelings. After you have walked away from the situation for a while, look at the situation again with a fresh perspective.

Be Clear

Take time for some soul searching and be honest about why you are not having strong emotions in the relationship. If your past has left you hurt and you are not able to move on or there is simply no chemistry, then it will be clear you need to move on or get help to move forward. The goal is to be honest with yourself so you can respond appropriately.


This is also an area in which you have to be honest with yourself. If you feel like you really need to force feelings in this relationship, ask yourself why. Once you discover the answers to this, you can respond appropriately and in a way that will not leave you feeling worse.

Use Open Communication

Never be afraid to be open and honest about how you are feeling. In fact, this is crucial to show respect and care for the other person. Tell them the truth about how you feel or don’t feel in a kind and delicate manner. If you are certain that a relationship is never going to develop, then tell them. This may be painful for your both, but you can both leave respectfully. This also prevents future hurt.

Be Patient

There may come a point when a relationship is possible, but you are not ready to move as quickly as the other person. If there is hope, then speak up and explain that you are not ready to move as quickly, but you would like to keep trying, slowly. You have the responsibility and right to figure things out without outside pressure. The goal is a healthy decision.

Open to Possibilities

Never completely shut the door unless you are sure. While you should not push a relationship, as you spend time with someone you may start having feelings. Never be afraid to give yourself some time to see if something develops if you are uncertain.

Maintain Friendship

If you are compatible with the other person and it has not yet gone too far, then open yourselves to simply being good friends for the time being. This is not always possible, but when it is a strong friendship can develop. This may ultimately turn into something more, but if not then you have gained a great friend.