Love in the movies never is painful and is full of sunsets, romance, and love. Being in love in real life can be painful and sometimes people are in pain because the love is so strong or because the love is not strong enough.
Why does it seem that love hurts? When you see love in some people, it seems so easy and being in love can mean more pain than you ever imagined. This does not always happen and isn’t always the case, but sometimes it is.
Some people feel the pain of love because of abuse, but there are other kinds of pain that can happen in a relationship.
Future
One of the hardest things about love is trying to figure it all out. Love can be uncertain and when you are falling in love, you feel secure and good. You are happy and full of life. When things become comfortable though, you realize that love has no true guarantees.
You learn from experience that you can be in a relationship that will cause you pain and you do not know what the future holds. This can cause you stress, anxiety, and even physical heartache.
Imagine that you are worried about the future but also know that you cannot change it and you do not want to miss out on happiness.
Expectations
People that worry too much about the future often end up hurt. It is hard to learn to live in the now and enjoy what life is giving you now. You want to have security and you want to avoid pain in your life.
Do you wonder if you will see your partner again or if you will hang out soon? Do you wonder when you will get more serious?
Worrying about the future will cause you pain and it will cause the relationship to not work the way that you want. This can cause you to become needy and clingy and will cause your partner to want to move on.
Stop worrying about things and focus on the now.
Chemical High
One reason that love can be hard is because at the beginning, life is full of chemicals and it gives you a high. Oxytocin, dopamine, and other chemicals that are associated with the feelings of love make you feel good and they come into your body at certain times.
You learn to get high on these feelings but when things become less and less, the chemicals are no longer making you feel good and this can cause you to have pain. This can cause you to feel anxious and to worry that things are only temporary and will not last.
Baggage
We all have some baggage because of the lifetime of things that we have went through. Maybe you have had your heart broken before and you have past relationship baggage and maybe your partner does as well.
Maybe you were with someone that was always promising you things and never coming through or someone that always let you down.
The past baggage in your life can cause you to be in pain in your new relationship. This is a bad place to be because if you want to be successful in your relationship, you have to let this baggage go. You have to learn to let go of the past relationship thoughts and learn to let the new person in.
Letting You Down
When you fall in love with someone you are excited and high about meeting someone that you care about. You finally have found someone that makes you smile.
When you are falling in love, you feel that your love is perfect and the more that you learn, the more that you realize that your partner is not perfect. Maybe it goes as far as having a partner that has a lot of imperfections and you realize that this isn’t who you were meant to be with.
Maybe he has not shown you who he really is and the more you get to know him, the less you like him. This can cause you to be let down and cause you to be full of hurt.
The letdown can be painful, but it is good that this happens early so that you can address things and see things that you do not want in a relationship. You can learn to talk about them or learn to walk away.
You have the choice. The thing is though, remember that no one is perfect and that no one will ever be perfect.
Hurt and Joy
Love can be exhausting, and it can be painful, especially if it ends. Look at the things in your relationships that are causing you pain and point them out and fix them.
If you feel that you are being let down about your future or that you are not getting your expectations met, talk to your partner. Figure out where the pain comes from and learn to manage it.
Love can be both painful and great. You have to learn to have an equal balance in life so that you can be happy.