We have all been through heartbreak and sometimes after a heartbreak, some people look for closure. Closure is something that can happen if you fall in love with someone that doesn’t love you back or if you have to end or breakup a relationship. Closure can help you and you can be ready to go out on dates again and it can help you to heal.
The problem with closure though is that it is basically just a term. We seek closure because we want things to be easy and neat. We want to be over the pain. The problem is this isn’t how things work. Love doesn’t work because we have feelings and when we need to get over someone, it doesn’t just close.
We are people and we have feelings. Feelings are hard and they can be messy sometimes. Closure might be something that sounds amazing, but it doesn’t really mean it is true. We talk about closure, but we never really believe that it is going to happen to us or give us what we need.
Everyone chooses to have closure because they think it means that the pain and heartbreak will go away. We want to feel like our lives and hearts are healed and so we think closure is the only way to get there.
Truth About Closure
No one is really sure what closure is. Everyone has a different idea of what closure is and even different relationship experts will give you different ideas.
People often think that when you have closure that you will no longer be heartbroken or that you will have peace.
Even when you listen to the definition of closure, we see it as a healing and an experience that allows us to be happy and free. When you have a breakup and you want to get better, writing a letter to your partner to tell them goodbye might feel good, but as the moment goes away, you will still feel pain and suffering.
Maybe you thought you were over your ex but then you find that you are going out of control. You might eat ice cream or junk food to get rid of your pain or you might go on social media and look at what your ex is up to.
Instead of choosing a new path and going beyond what closure can offer you, you just go for closure. This is hard because you have already done what you can to show the world that you are dealing with your ex leaving you, but the truth is, you will keep dealing with things until you learn to face it.
Life and breakups are sad sometimes and it can cause you to feel numb and to cause you to hide your heart from other people. Closure should be a process because it is something that takes time, but no one wants to give too much time to feeling bad.
Closure is not healing and if you want to have closure, you need to understand that it is not helpful for you.
After you breakup you need to have healing. You need to stop blaming your ex or yourself for the pain that you are experiencing. There is no closure that is going to make you feel that you are healed.
Even though closure sounds final, it isn’t. Breaking up and healing from heartache is not cute and neat but it is something that is hard and painful.
When you want to feel accepted, but you realize that you cannot make your partner happy, you might feel that you have to figure out how to move on. You need to accept that you are not in a relationship that is going to make your life better.
You have to choose to accept things in your life. You have to accept that things happen a certain way. You have to accept that life is hard and disappointing and that you will face heartbreak.
Think of things from a different perspective and learn to accept love and forgiveness in your life. You have to be in control of your own actions, and no one can do this for you. There are reasons why your relationship didn’t make it and the reasons are there, but it is no one’s fault.
Just because you are not compatible with someone doesn’t mean that it is your fault or your exes fault. You have to know that things sometimes end that way.
Whatever the reason that your relationship ended is, you have to accept that your relationship is over, but your life isn’t. You have to accept what happened in your life that caused the breakup to take place.
You must accept that a breakup will cause your heart to hurt but that you are going to be okay in the end.
Closure will never allow you to wrap things up in a broken relationship. It will only cause you to hold on to your feelings. People that are having a hard time getting over a breakup do not need closure but what they need is to know what went wrong in their life.
Some people feel bad about things that happen and when a breakup happens, they have to be honest with themselves as to why. Did it happen over and over again? Was your relationship up and down?
Did you see red flags that you ignored? You have to figure out what was missing in your life. Did your partner meet your needs? Did they complete your life?
We are often too busy to really think why things happened and so we choose closure because we want to idolize what love is. We want to believe that we can be saved because we love someone so deeply.
People have to wake up and look deep inside themselves. They have to find out why relationships end and to learn to deal with the problems that caused things to happen. Do not get caught up in your relationship but learn to figure out how you can be successful.
When we look for closure to happen, we try to find a shortcut where we don’t have to face the hard parts of our lives. We trick ourselves to try to stop dealing with our feelings. We don’t need to have closure, but we have to face things and learn to heal.
If you change your mindset, you will see that you can heal. You will see that you have to stop letting people impact your life even after they leave you.
Closure will not help you to feel better but changing your mindset will bring healing and wholeness to you.
It will take time for you to change your mindset but once you change your thoughts and you learn to heal, you will feel that your life is happy again.
Changing your mindset means that you are able to listen to what love is without thinking it is a fairytale. You have to see that you can find love and happiness, but you have to be unselfish in it. When your feelings are strong, you often confuse it for love.
Love is not struggling with someone, but love is to be able to be unselfish and to care for others without expecting things to be perfect.
It is not good for someone to not be able to let go but if you change your mindset, you can do just that.
Everyone has bad things happen. When you are able to look at things differently, you will see that you can treat yourself kindly and you can start seeing things in a better light. You can learn to go through things in your life and heal from it.
You can work on yourself and learn to experience new things. You can look at patterns in your life that happen with failed relationships. See how they treated you and how you treated them.
Take power in learning about your struggles and find out what you have done wrong and what you can do right.
If you do not have boundaries, you give your power away and you will always end up in a breakup and heartbreak.
There are other things you can do to work on yourself and when you need to have closure, you can only do this when you accept the truth and when you let life move you along.
People that are confident even often lose themselves in pain and hurt but when they find out that they can work on themselves, they see that their breakup can even be powerful and valuable.
Stop looking at life to bring you closure and learn to take time to heal yourself. Look at what you have going on and accept things in your life. Accept being disappointed and give yourself the reality that you have to change your mindset and that you have to learn from what you have experienced in life.
Love sometimes hurts and when you breakup with someone you love, that hurts even more. When you are strong and you are able to look at your life, you give yourself power to end things neatly and to live a life of goodness and hope. You can give yourself time to heal and time to be whole without trying to do it the easy way.