The Six Phases of Healing Heartbreak

Healing Heartbreak

The is no pain like a breakup.  It may seem like the pit in your stomach or the emptiness in your heart will never go away.  However, healing is possible.  Read on to discover the six phases of recovery from heartbreak.

  1. Determination to rebound

Start by asking yourself, on a scale of 1-10, how determined are you to move on.  They closer to 10 you are, the more motivated you will be to face the challenge of healing head on.  Notice if there is any part of you that is clinging to the possibility that they will come back.  Work on these parts first or the aspects in your life that compel you to be stronger as you work to heal.  Remember time is great healer, in time you will be stronger and more ready to tackle this obstacle.

  1. Cut ties

The only closure you need at the end of the relationship is to choose your needs and move forward with your life.  The concept of the final conversations where each partner gets to say what they want and you get mutual understand to leave as friends is a myth.  If you were able to have that type of conversation than why were you not able to work things out when you were a couple.  Now is the time to remove them from your phone and social media, avoid common spaces, and cut back on seeing any mutual friends.  This will help you end the addiction of being near this person and cultivate new habits.

  1. Think about what you need to release

This is a critical step of moving on.  When you understand what to you need to let go, you can help create the person you want to be.  Sometimes this could be multi-layered.  In this case, take things a step at a time.  For example, your top level might be anger for the investing so much time in this flawed relationship.  Grieve this anger, then release it.  Underneath the anger, you might notice the second layer is the hopes and expectation you had for your future together.  Process these thoughts and consider how you can adapt them for a new person in your life.  Release the dreams you had with your ex, and bless you both to find the lovers you deserve.

  1. Consider what is truth and fiction in the “story” of your love

In any story there is two points of view, and in the middle is the truth.  Try to see beyond the hopes and dreams you had for the reality of your life together.  Some people may have different expectation of where they will live, or whether or not to have children.  In these cases, you must see what they are actually saying rather than what you hope might transpire in the future.  A woman who loves the solitude of the ocean will never flourish in an urban setting.  Nor will the person who hates babies crave carrying a biological child.  You may dream they will change, but you must face reality.  Once you understand where you both differed in the past you can steps forward finding a partner better suited for your future goals.

  1. Know what you desire in a relationship

Breaking-up gets you a step closer to meeting to the true love of your life.  By knowing what you want from a relationship, you will have an easier time find your ideal partner.  It’s helpful to create a list of needs, wants, would be nice in a relationship.  Try to make it as comprehensive as possible.  Run this list past your ex and notice how many boxes they failed to check!

  1. Start dating again!

It can be hard to let go, but with steely determination and hard work you can rebound stronger than before!  Now is the time to get your favorite cute outfit out of the closet and get your hair, face and nails did!  You might not find your perfect person on the first go, but enjoy the opportunity to meet new people and have new experiences.  This is the time to reconnect with the fabulous freedom of being single!

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