Below are recommendations to help you know when something is wrong unhealthy unsustainable building on the sand:
If you don’t feel safe
There’s no way you can feel safe and trust at the same time. If you don’t feel safe, you can’t trust, and when you can’t trust then the relationship will not work. Without building trust first, nothing can be built. It’s the building block of everything. Everything falls apart without it.
Therefore, what makes individuals feel unsafe?
Apart from the well-known like physical abuse, infidelity and emotional abuse, there’s poor communication, jealousy and character assignation.
You should explore why you not feeling safe before you begin to blame games. Maybe you are the problem. After finding out why you don’t feel safe, you can communicate that. You shouldn’t leave with claims that you don’t feel safe. However, if someone doesn’t make you feel safe or can’t make you feel safe then it means you are with the wrong individual.
If everything’s boring
Most of the time in your relationship you’ll be watching movies, hanging out or sharing meals. Though sex is important, you won’t be doing it the whole day, it’s just an hour every night and that’s only if things are good. Therefore, without the banter pieces’ things can get boring. In any case, you are unable to have deep meaningful conversations with someone, that’s already an indication that they are not good for you. Even if there is great intimacy. It will be short-lived if great banter is not there. Good banters keep the relationship moving.
Everything is about them
Some individuals can’t make it about anyone else but just them. There’s nothing more painful than feeling alone in a relationship. If you feel alone then you need to ask yourself how much that will cost you and your journey, and how it will cost your partner and your relationship too. In any case, the relationship makes you feel alone and you can’t fix your partner, then you are with the wrong person.
They are dictators
There are distinct forms of control. The worst is subtle control. You will be able to spot other people’s controlling ways if you know your worth. However, it’s not easy to spot subtle control. In any case, you feel like you’re being controlled, you certainly are.
If somebody is a dictator and is not willing to change, you are with the wrong person.
Intimacy is about connection and it’s not all about sex. When there’s no connection, that’s a flag although it doesn’t mean anything serious. The flag will, however, turn into a sign if you two can’t reconnect.
You are definitely with the wrong person if no matter where you go you don’t get better reception.
Those are signs that you might be with the wrong person. That’s said, I trust that people can talk things over and try to make things work in a relationship.