Ground Rules of Friends with Benefits

Ground Rules of Friends with Benefits

A friend with benefits scenario can definitely take care of your needs sexually. This is true of someone you hang out with all the time or someone you only hang out with for sex without commitment. Friends with benefits fall between a one-night stand and a boyfriend/girlfriend status. They serve a purpose, fill a need, and do not require anything overly meaningful.

Lines can get blurry in these situations because sex and love complicate everything, but if clear boundaries are drawn then the sex can be fun and enjoyable. If you do enter this type of arrangement, keep these things in mind.

Keep Realistic Expectations

Do not head into a friend with benefits situation expecting it to turn into more. This will leave you disappointed. If you are not into casual sex only relationships, then avoid an FWB type situation. This will lead to disappointment.

Capitalize

Since both parties are open to the idea, capitalize on the benefits. Use the time to explore anything you want to find out what you really want and need. This is commitment free and a time to have fun.

No Assumptions

Never assume anything about the situation. Make sure you communicate openly so that misunderstandings are avoided. If clear boundaries are not set, then an entire friendship could hang in the balance. Have a grown-up discussion about what is and is not happening.

Self-Awareness

Make sure you are self-aware so that communication remains open. Be honest with yourself about what you want, not simply what you hope for from the FWB scenario.

Share Feelings

If things change and feelings start to develop, be honest with the other person. While it may mean an end to the sexual relationship, it will be less painful further down the line if the person does not share your feelings. You never know how they are feeling unless you talk about it.

Friends First

The good thing about a FWB scenario is that when you tire of one another or someone starts dating, then the sex ends, but the friendship continues. Throughout the sexual aspect, keep friendship first so the eventual transition back is seamless.

Don’t Hold on Too Long

FWB should be fun. So, if you and the other person are having fun, keep going. If the fun ends, the sex should end as well so you can go back to a traditional friendship.

Clarify Roles

Before hooking up the first time, even though it can be awkward, have a talk about the expectations and roles. If you hooked up first, then still have a check-in to make sure everyone is still on the same page. If this is skipped, the friendship could be damaged.

Ground Rules

An FWB scenario means an open relationship, but this should be defined ahead of time. Since you are free to sleep with other people, be clear about if you want to know who these people are and when or how often. You may not owe an explanation, but this should be defined up front.

Communicate

Be clear about your wants and desires up front, even if you want to try things out and see if a relationship is developed. If the other person is not up for this, then find another outlet. Better to be direct than be hurt later on.

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