Everyone is looking to be in relationships with someone that will love them solely for who they are. We want someone that understands us, loves us when we have flaws and will work to make the relationship work even when things are not easy or perfect. Having unconditional love or unconditional positive regard for your partner is what this is all about. This means when your partner loves you unconditionally, they will work hard to make things last.

You might be one of the people that are in a relationship where you know from the bottom of your heart that your partner does not have unconditional love for you. They might prove to you with their actions that they are not really vested into the relationship or they might make you feel bad about yourself or under appreciated. This makes you feel that the relationship will never be able to last.

The good thing is, having positive regard for someone can be worked on. People that care about each other can figure out how to have more respect for each other and this comes from being kind and compassionate and from seeing the relationship from inside the heart.

If your partner keeps messing up, this does not mean that your relationship cannot work out, but you need to look at these signs to see what kind of relationship you are in.

Criticizing

When your partner is always making a remark every time you do something, there could be a reason for this. Sometimes, this can mean that your relationship is not doing well. This can make you feel that you are not good enough and that you are not being treated the way that you want to.

Everyone will get on your nerves at one point or another and criticism is often from being upset. But when your partner is always giving you negative feedback, chances are he is not really invested in making the relationship work. You need to discuss this with him and if he finds the relationship important, he will work with you to be better about this. You have to learn to talk without trying to force change on your partner.

Needs

Being in a relationship means that we want our needs to be met and our feelings to be cared about. If you are in a relationship where you feel that your partner is not taking your needs seriously, chances are they find the relationship too intense.

When a person loves their partner unconditionally, they will be able to handle things when they are hard. This does not mean that there shouldn’t be boundaries, all healthy relationships have some, but this means being partners means that you help each other.

Arm’s Length

If you feel that your partner does not bring you into their deepest part, chances are you are not loved unconditionally. The time that you spend alone together should be important and if you feel that your partner is not letting you in, tell them how you feel.

Letting your partner know what you are feeling can bring change. If they are not as invested as you want them to be, tell them.

Arguments

One of the healthy things about a relationship is when you can let things go. Sometimes there will be fights and arguments but neither in the relationship should be keeping score. If you are in a healthy relationship both you and your partner should want it to be good and peaceful.

If your partner is always keeping score when you fight, remind them that you make mistakes and so do they. When someone loves you unconditionally, they want to help you and not focus on where you are week. Talk about this with your partner and come up with a solution before the relationship goes sour.

Put Themselves First

Another point of having a healthy relationship is that your partner should put you first and vice versa. They should think about you and want to help you and do things for you.

When some individuals only care about themselves, this is not creating a healthy relationship. Make sure you talk about this and if your partner is not willing to commit to you, maybe it is time to move on.

Important Moments

When you are with your partner, most likely you remember all the important things about them. If your partner is always forgetting things like your anniversary or your birthday, chances are this is something you need to address.

When your partner is not fully invested in you, they will not pay attention to things that are important to you. This can mean that they forget to text you or call you and they do not make you a priority in their life. This could mean they are preoccupied with other things, but you need to find out the real reason why they keep forgetting.

Importance

You will constantly be learning about your partner when you are with someone. You should know things that are important to each of you such as values and morals and know what they believe in and what they like. If your partner does not know things about you, chances are, he is not invested fully.

Do not jump to conclusions and get angry about this, take time to talk about it and ask why this is happening in the relationship.

Past

When your partner brings up your past, it can be hurtful. One thing about a healthy relationship is your partner is willing to move on from hard things and not bring things back up. Your partner might be in a habit of bringing up the past. Maybe they want to bring up mistakes that you made over and over again.

If someone has unconditional positive regard for you, they will support you in the things that you have done wrong and the things that you do now. They will understand everyone has past mistakes and they will leave them in the past. If this keeps happening, it can be a red flag.

Sick

Being sick is hard and if you are in a relationship where your partner bails on you when you are sick, this can mean that your partner does not care about you or your feelings. This can cause you to see that your partner is not all in the relationship and they are not fully invested in you.

Talk to your partner and let them know that you need them to support you no matter what. If they do not stick around the next time it happens, they are not as invested as you are.

Turn Against You

A partner that is unconditionally in love with you will want to agree with you even when you are wrong. You will both have different opinions and ideas and even disagreements here and there but in spite of it all, they should love and respect you.

When your partner loves you only based on certain things, they are not as into you as you are them. This is a sign that their love for you is conditional. When you agree with your partner and they are happy, but they turn on you when you disagree, this is a bad sign.

Having a relationship like this can also mean they are manipulating you to do what they want you to do and they do not really care about your real feelings.

Blame Game

When something goes wrong and your partner is fast to blame you, they do not respect you. Blaming can create shame and if this is happening in your relationship, chances are your partner is not about unconditional love for you.

If you see that your partner is making mistakes and doing this, speak up and explain to them how this makes you feel. See if this is something you can work on together.

If they refuse to talk about this or to change for you, decide if this is the relationship that you want to be in or if you want to move on.