Meeting someone can mean that you have an instant romantic attraction towards them, and most people never even sit back to think that something like this could at some time turn into abuse. Most people hope to fall in love and hope to live happily ever after.
Many people do not have happily ever after love and find themselves in abusive situations. If you have ever been in an abusive situation, chances are that you will feel negative towards who you are because you will not understand why it happened to you and you will not know how to even get out of the relationship.
How it Starts
Most abusive relationships start out like any other normal relationship. The abuser will be kind and caring and loving at first, but it is just an act they put on. Then, you will fall in love but not with the real person but the fake person, the abuser.
This can happen slowly, and it can happen to the point where it happens so subtle that it takes you a long time to even realize it is happening.
Most abuse will start slow and then when it happens they will apologize and when you forgive them you will think its over only to have them abuse you again and again until your relationship is based not on love but abuse.
It is hard for someone to recognize that they are starting in an abusive relationship for the above reasons.
Signs of Abuse
If you want to get out of your abusive relationship, you have to first admit that you are in an abusive relationship. You cannot change the fact that you didn’t see this coming, but you can get out.
Name Calling
One of the first signs of an abusive relationship is name calling. They will call you a whore or a bitch and this happens when they get angry with you.
They will call you names and let your self-esteem diminish. The abuser will make it so you cannot love yourself and this is why they call you names.
Insulting You
Another way they will abuse you is call you stupid or fat. They will insult you anywhere and anyway that they can so they can make you feel bad about yourself.
Gaslight
The abuser will manipulate you and make you question if you are losing your mind or not. They will make you start second guessing everything you do. They will call you overly sensitive and make you feel that things are your fault.
Chances are you will even apologize because they are so good, they will make you think you are the wrong one.
Jealous
Jealousy is sometimes looked at as a sign of love, but it is a real sign of being insecure and stressed. If your partner is jealous, they will do what they can to control you and if you allow it, they will control everything about you.
Isolation
In extreme abuse, your partner will become so jealous that they will lock you up or not let you talk to your friends or family. They will be afraid they will try to convince you to leave them.
Blaming You
You will be forced to say everything is your fault and they will always make you think that you are the one that needs to change.
Violence
One of the worst forms of abuse is domestic violence. This is part of an abusive relationship and maybe they are hitting you or hurting you. This is not a good place to be and you need to get out.
How to Get Out
After you figure out that you are in an abusive relationship and see the signs, you need to get out.
Write it Down
Take time to write down everything that has happened. Keep a journal and do not question if you are making it up in your mind or not, you aren’t.
You can take the documentation to court if you need to prosecute your abuser. If they threaten you or hit you, write it down or record them.
Pack a Bag
Always have a bag packed in case you need to get out fast. If you wait to pack when they strike, you might not get out.
Have a bag packed so you can leave if you need to. If you have kids, have a bag packed for them too. Sometimes abusers will not let you leave the house and so you need to be ready.
Plan
Make a leaving plan. If you plan on leaving you need to know where to go. Find someone that supports you so that you can go there and live with them if you need to get out.
If your abuser is crazy, you are taking a chance when you live with someone so if you need to go to a women’s shelter and they will help you.
Save Money
If you don’t have a job, saving money can be hard. But even if you don’t, save as much money as you can. You can even get a second job if you can find one and put the money away. Do not let your abuser know that you are doing this because they might take it. Give the money to someone you love and trust.
Alert
Talk to your family and friends and tell them your plan. Tell them what has been going on and that you are afraid.
If you have been in this relationship in a long time, do not say you are leaving and then don’t because they will no longer believe you. Tell them you are serious and have them help you.
Block Them
Get rid of the person abusing you and do not go back to them. Never go back because the abuse will only get worse.
Stay away from them, block their number, block them on social media and do not post things so they can find you.
Move completely on and away from them so they cannot find you. If they do, they will apologize and say they will change even when they won’t.
Conclusion
Many people think that only men are abusers, but this is not true. There are men that are abused by women and they are afraid of someone putting them down to leave or admit it. It doesn’t matter who you are, abuse is abuse and you have to get out.
You can get counseling before you go into another relationship after you leave, and you have to figure out what happened to cause the abuse in the first place.
There are different reasons that people abuse, and everyone is different. You need to make sure you don’t keep attracting abusers in your life.
It is hard to leave an abusive relationship, but many people have done it and you can do it too. Be brave and follow through with what you choose and stick to it no matter how hard it is.